People have often asked me why I am a mediator. Why, after 25 years of living and
working in the UK, Europe, and the US, as an actor, followed by driving 18-wheelers in
New York, and then a total of 22 years spent as a teacher and adjunct professor, did I
want to work as a mediator?
In order to answer that I have to take you back to the cold, northeast winter of 2001,
where I found myself in the early hours sitting on a giant pipe inside an enormous pet
food warehouse where I had been sent in my 18-wheeler to load huge palettes of the
aforementioned pet food. When I arrived at 3 AM, there was nobody around, so I sat on
that pipe and waited. And as I waited I thought back to my last two years of high school
when, out of the blue, someone asked me whether I wanted to join them in creating a
summer camp for Black and Puerto Rican children in Springfield, MA. I had never ever
considered myself as even vaguely altruistic and so, of course, I answered “Yes.”
That was my first experience being of use to others, and although I know one can argue
that being an actor and entertainer is useful, it does not compare to working that hard to
actually improve someone’s life who does not have access to what I had growing up.
The camp was a runaway success, and I wanted more.
The pipe was getting uncomfortable, so I went back to the truck, turned on the ignition
and heat, and thought about my first two years of college, and the Daycare Center I
founded for the less fortunate children of Richmond, Indiana. Again, I saw the need and
responded. I loved those kids and played and worked with them every day.
I have already written in this newsletter about my experiences driving trucks on two aid
convoys into the Bosnian War in 1994. Then, having moved back to America in 2000,
and southern California in 2002, I discovered teaching, at first in some of the most
financially challenged areas of San Bernardino as a substitute teacher. Being a sub is
where all student teachers should go to learn classroom management. It was invaluable
training. Two years after accepting a job as a full-time English teacher in Fontana, I was
offered a job as an adjunct professor at San Bernardino Valley College. I taught in both
schools simultaneously until 2021, when I retired from high school teaching, but I am
still an adjunct professor teaching Acting and Introduction to Theater.
It was while I was teaching my students in Fontana that I saw the need to help people
re-frame their lives and I got good at it. So it was not a big leap from being a high school
English teacher to mediator. I enjoy helping people find new worlds inside themselves. I
enjoy being transformational, and as I told myself on that pipe in the early hours, I want
to be of use. At last, now, I know I am. Being a mediator is just as satisfying as the
applause we received at the end of performances. Guiding clients to resolve their
conflicts is just as rewarding as watching my students graduating. I am going to
continue mediating and running my company Magnum Mediation for as long as I can so
if you know of anyone who is in the middle of a conflict, any conflict, because that is my
niche, send them to Magnum. I want to help.